Neapolitan is an Italian ice-cream with three flavors: chocolate, vanilla and strawberry; Janet Napolitano is the Italian-American US Homeland Security Secretary with three flavors: “the system worked,” “the system failed miserably” and another more subtle, nuanced flavor “the rules have been in place since 2006″,” i.e., “it’s Bush’s fault.”
After the Nigerian “Knicker Bomber” terrorist tried to blow up a plane en route to Detroit from Amsterdam on Christmas Day, Napolitano gave us all three flavors in rapidfire succession within a few days. Shortly thereafter, law-abiding citizens were instructed to fly with their hands on their knees and nothing in their laps as their eyes turn yellow since all are forbidden to go to the toilet during the last hour of their flights. In response to this misfit, radical Islamist attempting to light a bomb in the crotch of his Fruit-of-the-Looms, Homeland Security’s approach makes complete sense: treat adult, law-abiding citizens like children. I wonder if stewardesses are now serving cookies and milk during snack time for good behavior?
Meanwhile two days later on 12/27/2009, another Nigerian locked himself into the lavatory and refused to respond to the crew, causing the flight to be grounded. Fortunately, the person in question was either truly sick (possibly from the cookies and milk or being treated like a child) or he was another terrorist with a luke-warm IQ who couldn’t figure out how to detonate his jock strap.
Earlier this year, Napolitano warned us all that US “right-wing groups” should be monitored as possible domestic terrorists. (According to an official document of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, right-wing extremists include “groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue” or those “rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority;” this potentially makes anyone who opposes Obama’s policies a subject of suspicion.) Personally, I feel so much safer knowing that Homeland Security is so focused on monitoring American, political opponents of the Obama administration’s policies rather than focusing on real terrorists…
Before we know it, we’ll have at least two lines at airport security: one for conservatives/Republicans/tea-partiers who will have to endure complete strip searches, cavity probes, finger-printing, retina scans and a US marshall assigned to each and another line for foreign nationals, those with foreign student visas, those who have forgotten their passports and those carrying Korans and prayer rugs, shouting “death to the great Satan” who will be allowed to pass unmolested, accompanied by their own personal ACLU lawyers. Have a nice flight…
Sources: (1). UPI.com for Napolitano quotes from CNN’s “State of the Union,” Sunday, 12/27/2009 and NBC’s “Today Show,” Monday, 12/28/2009;
(2). “Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment,” Department of Homeland Security, dated April 7, 2009, p. 2.
I never thought that “Weird Science,” the tongue-in-cheek song by the 1980’s band Oingo Boingo, would be so relevant in the world of politics today and the man-made drama swirling around the nation’s cesspool, formerly known as Washington, D.C.
Plastic tubes and pots and pans
Bits and pieces and
Magic from the hand
Things I’ve never seen before
Behind bolted doors”
“Behind bolted doors,” indeed. I am positive the Chicago-style political techniques employed by the Obama Administration to “convince” those few remaining “skeptical” Democrats and “independents” to vote for the government take-over of our nation’s healthcare would make water boarding Islamo-fascist terrorists look like an Oprah interview. Water-boarding Islamo-fascists got Nancy Pelochio’s panties in a bunch but strong-arming her fellow Congress-critters into voting for Congress’s version of this swollen governmental take-over of 1/6th of our entire economy was done without batting an eye (which in Queen San Fran Nan’s case is difficult — if not entirely impossible — considering the number of facelifts she’s undergone, making it physically impossible for her to even blink, let alone bat her eyes).
Magic and technology
Voodoo dolls and chants
Electricity We’re makin’
Fantasy and microchips
Shooting from the hip
Now, that the Senate version of this Democrat government take-over of our health care has passed the Senate by a vote of all 58 Democrats and 2 “Independents” while the “other” 40 do-nothing, soft-as-a-feather-cushion, inept Republicans standby wringing their collective hands and biting their nails, the two bills – ReidCare + PelosiCare = ObamaCare — must be “reconciled” into one gargantuan bill that will eat the US alive.
This disaster-in-the-making is a clear demonstration of the “Peter Principle” at its extreme; the “Peter Principle” basically states that, “[i]n a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence.” Since the US federal government is in the process of bankrupting our country with Social Security, Medicaid and Medical, why not trust them with the ENTIRE healthcare industry. I really do trust Obama, Reid and Pelosi when they say that this deal will be “budget neutral!” (When has ANY government program been “budget neutral”?)
“Weird Science,” indeed…
On St. Oprah’s Christmas Special with the Obamas at the Whitehouse on Sunday, 12/13/2009, the Community-Organizer-In-Chief gave himself a “good solid B+” on his first-year in office. While I would consider that proof of grade-inflation (as opposed to monetary inflation which he and Tiny Tim “The Tax-Cheat” Geithner are also cooking up), I am pleasantly surprised at The One’s humbleness in giving himself only a “B+” – I would have expected something like “A+++”; however, I am fully expecting the political mavens and propaganda shills, hacks and asundry blowhards on the network “news” programs (ABC, NBC and “See BS”) as well as MSNBC and CNN to do the heavy lifting for him — sort of like “outsourcing the jobs that most Americans just won’t do.” Perhaps, Chrissy Matthews can elevate the B+ to something more in line with Obama’s messianic aura on his hard-hitting program “Wiffle Ball with Chris Matthews” while demonstrating just how exactly that now famous “tingle” goes up his leg whenever he hears the voice of the Telepromptor-In-Chief.
And what about that Nobel Peace Prize that Obama recently accepted while improving our relations abroad by snubbing King Harald of Norway? Lest anyone feel inadequate, next year, you, too, can get your own Nobel Peace Prize by mailing in three boxtops of any Lucky Charms or Captain Crunch cereal boxes. (Not to be outdone, one restaurant is apparently giving one away with every order of shrimp tacos.)
This seems to follow a trend, given that the once-revered award was given to both esteemed US President Jimmy Carter in 2002 and Yasser Arafat in 1994. Among other “accomplishments,” President Carter can be most notably remembered for impotently standing by while the once pro-West Iran fell into into the hands of scraggly bearded mullahs and Time Magazine’s Man of the Year for 1979, the Ayatollah Khomeini which is STILL causing the world much heartburn. Famed international Palestinian terrorist Yasser Arafat won his Nobel Peace Prize earlier in 1994 for “efforts to create peace in the Middle East.” We bear witness to the resulting “peace” that Israel and its neighbors have enjoyed ever since — maybe the Nobel Committee misunderstood and thought that it was “a piece prize” rather than “the peace prize.”
At any rate, Al Gore, bundled up in a parka, plaid scarf and fluffy earmuffs, became a Nobel Peace Prize recipient in 2007 for efforts to “disseminate greater knowledge” about man-made global-warming (now known as “man-made climate change” after global temperatures started falling like lead balloons); the source of these changes in the climate can apparently be directly linked to such things as cow flatulence and SUV’s. The first “carbon-neutral documentary,” entitled “An Inconvenient Truth,” starring Al Gore, went on to win not one but two Academy Awards in 2006. The only inconvenience caused was that it was neither a documentary nor the truth. (Perhaps, this can explain the plummeting numbers of people who actually watch the Academy Awards anymore — as “An Inconvenient Truth” receiving not one but two Oscars has become yet another example of “grade-inflation.”)
Al Gore quoted Mark Twain,”What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so.” Al Gore has never sounded so logical.
In USAToday on 12/10/2009, an article caught my eye, “For Feds, More Get 6-Figure Salaries,” however, it was the small type below that floored me: “Average Pay $30,000 over PRIVATE SECTOR” [CAPS mine for wild-eyed emphasis].
We are now apparently where the Soviet Union once was where anyone who really wanted to advance in life worked for the government. The additional “benefit” of working for the federal government is that federal workers get every known holiday off and then some — I hear Mao’s May Day will be added to the list shortly. Also, one can be as incompetent as possible and snarl at the taxpaying “customers” and never get fired; pay raises are almost guaranteed. This is called the public sector crowding out the private sector, and the public sector is apparently getting more crowded and better-heeled with each passing day.
I think that the private sector has become highly over-rated: competition is fierce and the hours are too long. To top it off, the private sector is at the mercy of politicians who at any given time and at every conceiveable opportunity can and do raise taxes, implement “fees,” penalties and the like. Why bother?
My advice to everyone in the private sector is to quit and begin working for the federal government; when there’s no one left to tax to pay for the government workers, maybe then the politicians will figure out where the money to pay for all those on the public payroll actually comes from. I won’t be holding my breath.
Speaking of breath, it appears that the Democrats are so focused on passing this healthcare bill that they look like they are either laying an egg or forcing stool. I for one certainly hope they do include a “death panel” in this trail of cat sick, known alternatively as ObamaCare or PelosiCare (I personally wish they’d stop “caring” so much). Obama can name Dr. Kevorkian as the “Death Czar” to join the thousands of other “czars” in the Obama administration. (Now, I know how Obama intends to reduce the jobless rate: hire all the unemployed as federal workers under each of the new czars — it’s practically become a cottage industry!)
With pinwheel eyes spinning hypnotically, the public sits glued to the unraveling of the Tiger Woods’ persona as mistress after mistress comes to the forefront. Some of these “mistresses” are more credible than others, but nevertheless, where there is this much smoke, there is not just a fire but in this case more likely a forest fire.
Tiger Woods is no doubt one of the best if not THE best golfer in the history of the sport, and that cannot be denied; however, the all-American boy facade is rapidly crumbling along with future endorsements. As the beet-faced public grows disenchanted, they are picking up their torches and meeting in the village square intent on marching to Tiger’s Floridian Windermere mansion where between the tree and fire-hydrant, Tiger couldn’t decide between his wood or his iron that fateful night several days ago. What’s becoming clear is that the persona of Tiger Woods was based on a hoax — and a hoax this large cannot last as long as it has without a complicit media — all worthy of a new soap opera entitled “As the Golfball Turns.”
Speaking of the complicit media, the largest hoax yet perpetrated on the public is anthropogenic, or man-made, global warming; hackers recently infilitrated the file-servers of the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit in England, which is the home of the famed “hockey stick graph” representing “increasing, man-made, global warming temperatures”; at least, the “man-made” part is correct. Who knew that Great Britain’s major source of exports is the manufacture of the man-made global warming hoax. I waited to write about this until I heard the lamestream media break the story — ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, the New York Times, Los Angeles Time, et al.: I still hear crickets chirping.
Like the Tiger Woods’ persona, the media has been majorly complicit in the hoax of “man-made global warming.” How many conferences by the High Priestess of the Religion of Man-Made Global Warming — Al Gore — have to be cancelled due to unseasonably cold and frigid temperatures before the masses realize that the High Priestess has no clothes (and probably should because of the frigid cold)?
So what has been the response to this breaking news? The braintrust Democrat Senator from California Barbara Boxer wants to criminally investigate — not the unversity or the “scientists” who have been involved in the hoax, but THE HACKER who exposed the hoax! That is akin to wanting to criminally investigate Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein for helping to break the Watergate story resulting in the downfall and resignation of Republican President Richard Nixon. In Boxer’s world, bringing down Richard Nixon — however it was done — should be celebrated but exposing the man-made global warming scandal should be a criminal act. Many more are complicit in this cover-up than just the media…
Universal healthcare has been the wetdream of progressives (now known as leftist Democrats) for over 50 years; they are nothing if not persistent, relentless and almost impossible to get rid of — but then again the same could be said of toenail fungus. However, it now appears that with such a prize so close at hand, Nazi Pelosi and Harry “Squeaky” Reid are all but willing to see their numbers significantly winnowed down in the next election in 2010 when the angry villagers throw out of office at least some of their senators and congress critters who end up voting for this barfbag of tricks and taxes, currently known as ObamaCare. (If this is how Obama “cares,” I wonder what happens to those he doesn’t “care for?”)
Pelosi and Reid are like twin gargoyles in headresses and ratty beards sitting crosslegged in a dusty Afghani cave sending out their Obamacare suicide bombers into the body politic to detonate among the same angry villagers; by the time the dust settles, ObamaCare will have been passed and can then promptly be put to the test caring for the wounded and maimed.
“Nancy Pelosi,” Dennis Miller recently observed, “looks like she’d lose a game of tic-tac-toe to a grubworm,” and this is a woman who is now third in line for the presidency and first in line to tell us lowly serfs, that we don’t know what’s good for us and that she and her elitist n’er-to-well know-it-alls do. If death panels are not a part of Obamacare, almost assuredly a large percentage of us Americans will wish there were if this legislative carbuncle is passed and enacted.
In the mean time, deck chairs are being rearranged by Captain Obama and his trusty sidekick Joe Biden on Titanic’s sister ship, The American Economy. The former Community Organizer-in-Chief and his career-politician vice-president held a “jobs summit” today but forgot to invite some key guests, such as representatives from industry and chambers of commerce and entrepreneurs and small business owners who actually create real jobs. This actually makes perfect sense since Obama’s definition of employment only involves government jobs, thus helping to insure the shrinkage of the private sector and a built-in voting block for the next crop of Leftist Democrat politicians.