There was a mysterious interruption in the DNC debates on Saturday, December 19, when Hillary Clinton did not return in a timely manner from the euphemistic Throne Room. Reporters speculated that Hillary, Bill and Caitlin Jenner were having a proverbial pissing contest on a Bernie Sanders’ urinal target.
The delay, however, was actually due to a group of college students who were emotionally agitated that their safe spot had been usurped by the candidates’ port-a-potty, and they were further aggrieved at having been microaggressed by the candidates’ hostile tone of voice and aggressive debate tactics.
Hillary became visibly annoyed after Sanders emerged victorious from the Throne Room to shouts of college students chanting, “Feel the Bern.” She was further disgusted by the conditions left by Sanders when she discovered her poll numbers had clogged the plumbing. Sanders responded that his socialist economic plan called for a mandatory tax of the 1% for one communal toilet for the 99%, centrally located in Washington, D.C.
To reduce carbon emissions and gas, one square of toilet paper, recycled from one print-out of the Omnibus spending bill, recently passed by Congress, would be provided for each visit and all reading material would be strictly prohibited to eliminate unnecessarily lengthy visits.
The DNC was later applauded for their handling of the DNC presidential debates by arranging a discreet time on the Saturday before Christmas to minimize attention drawn to the Democratic presidential candidates’ toilet visits.