Justin Washington's Blog

Election 2016: The Fun Never Ends!

October 29, 2016
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In years past at this point in the election cycle with less than 2 weeks to go, voters would be anxious to get to election day so that they can discover which of the two Uniparty candidates will occupy the Oval Office, or in this case the Oral Office, should Hillary prevail and the First Dude Bill darken the White House threshold again.  The Kabuki Theater that has become the US presidential cycle follows strict role-playing guidelines governing the two parties:  the Democrats play the role of the abuser while the Republicans play the part of the abused spouse and the dysfunctional relationship is supported by the enablers of the abusers — the DNC propagandists, otherwise known as the Mainstream Media.

Unfortunately for the Washington, DC Drama Class of 2016, a transfer student appeared, unfamiliar with the established roles and with a complete indifference to them.  Trump edged his way into the part of the Republican and wanted to rewrite the part, refusing the mantle of suffering victimhood, usually relished by past Republicans performers.  As the saying goes, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” and suddenly, all the abusers, usurped victims and the enabled had one common enemy:  Trump.  Suddenly, the establishment Republican party joined forces with the Democrat party and their bully accomplices, the Media in an attempt to drive out the new kid on the block.

2016 has turned out to be a banner year in the theatre business since there were additional cast members who wanted to be included to help spice up the tawdry, antiquated script:  Wikileaks, Gucifer, Assange, Snowden, et al, who have thrown the entire production script into last season’s dustbin.  A new sort of drama has emerged:  more of a hybrid reality performance art piece that actually encourages the audience to participate instead of falling asleep or slipping out the exits.

Finally, the audience are actively engaged after realizing the producers, George Soros and Saudi Arabia, to name just a few, had previously hand-picked the actors in prior productions and set the script according to the ending they wanted instead of the ending the audience paid to see.

While Hillary and Kaine, billed as “Kaine & Unable,” stumble across the stage, playing their old scripted parts, Trump interacts with the audience and plays against type to the delight of the audience and to the chagrin of the Media critics.

As entertaining as the new format is, my vote is to let the drama continue to unfold!


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Trump in the Shark Tank, Hosted by Kim Jong Hill

October 16, 2016
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Trump’s new reality television show is “Survivor:  Trump in the Shark Tank”; the concept is simple:  the RNC ties Trump’s hands as tightly as possible before the DNC pushes him into a tank full of media sharks while the audience munches popcorn, eyes transfixed to the ensuing maelstrom.  Kim Jong Hill is the master of ceremonies and gleefully monitors the activity from a gurney overlooking the tank, narrating the action in between breaths of oxygen from a mask administered by Huma Abedin.

When Trump appears too close to escaping, Hillary speaks fluent Parseltongue to the sharks, whose eyes widen in excitement, as someone from Team Hillary throws in some fresh, bloody chum to stir the pot.  Although on the endangered species list, the still deadly Great White (The New York Times), the AlphaBet-Soup Hammerheads, a new species arising from inter-breeding among ABC/CBS/NBC and even the once docile Nurse Shark, Fox News, which has decided to join the ranks of its more deadly brethren sharks, swarm the tank ready to keep the audience glued to their seats while simultaneously keeping attention off Hillary whose attendees hold umbrellas over Her Heinous to keep the pesky Wikileaks from drowning her; after all, anyone who has seen “The Wizard of Oz” knows the unfortunate outcome of what happens when the Wicked Witch gets wet.

After the release of the now infamous 11-year old tape in which Billy Bush from “Access Hollywood” is heard bantering with Trump about women’s nether regions failed to completely put an end to Trump’s campaign, Team Hillary threw in another piece of chum in this week’s episode:  an accusation by another woman Jessica Leeds who has claimed Trump groped her 30-years ago in First Class on a flight — probably at that time destined for a Democrat  Funding Raising Events where one assumes such events are considered passe and mundane.  Now that Trump is no longer a Democrat and running as a Republican, the media sharks and Hillary swoon like Victorian ladies at such talk and actions.   However, a little research which journalists were once accustomed to doing would turn up some interesting facts such as Ms. Leeds’ employment by none other than the Clinton Foundation and her close friendship with the Shark Whisperer herself Hillary Clinton.  It appears that Jessica Leeds’ story doesn’t quite hold water.

So for now, Trump, nicked and wounded, appears to have survived another round of “Survivor:  Trump in the Shark Tank”; the next episode could be even bloodier if Kim Jong Hill has any say in the matter.


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Raging Bullsh*t in the Age of US Political Cage Fighting: The Feline Edition

October 10, 2016
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The second installment of the Trump – Clinton political cage fight ended yesterday with the Clinton News Network (CNN) miserably depressed that instead of polishing Trump off decisively, Hillary, freshly  sealed and waxed, allowed the brash New Yorker to live and  fight another day .  After the previous Friday’s convenient release of an 11-year secret recording of then registered Democrat Donald Trump’s conversation with Billy Bush, host of “Hollywood Access,” in which he made a reference to felines, Trump apologized twice:  once for his crude language and the second time for once being a Democrat.  The entire episode reminded Trump that the single biggest mistake he has and could ever make is trusting a member of the Bush Family — or the RNC for that matter.


At Trump’s crude remarks, Democrat critics — returning from local performances of “The Vagina Monologues” and screenings of “50 Shades of Grey” — clutched their pearls, swooned on their fainting couches and motioned for their spelling salts.  For a group so eager to remind us all that potential First Dude Bill Clinton’s oral engagements while he was in the White House were “just about sex” and lying under oath about it therefore acceptable, they certainly do have delicate sensibilities.  (Radical punk rock group “Pussy Riot” was not available for comment, however.)


Before the debate, Trump appeared with a small gaggle of past Bill Clinton rape and sexual assault victims, attempting to imply that actions speak louder than words.  During the debates, Bill Clinton appeared like a desiccated pickle and noticeably uncomfortable as he realized that a group of his unwilling sexual past conquests were seated a few rows away; he looked like he had gotten caught with his slick willy in the proverbial cookie jar.


After the debates, “Famous Actor” Robert De Niro released a video in which he acted and sounded like he suffered one too many head injuries while filming “Raging Bull” as he excoriated Trump for being unfit for the highest office in the land; it was particularly effective until remembering that DeNiro was reported as dismissing his buddy Bill’s oral activities as inconsequential.

The Mainstream Media, however, are recovering and remembering their true mission:  to destroy the Donald and insure that Hillary is properly coronated and installed in the White House (and Bill is chained to a post in the backyard).


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